People, like fingerprints, are quite unique when it comes to choosing the ideals that they follow or live by. When you explore the various passions that inspire people, you’ll realize that everyone has their own special place which they believes is free from any external intervention, where they can cast aside all burdens and inhibitions and rest without any concern or worry. Or at least with lesser concern and worry than usual. It is this place that gives us the strength and confidence to face the world and is pivotal to successful living. This ‘place’ could be anything, varying from a deep founded belief in the ultimate good nature of men, to a skeptical disregard for humanity, morality and generally any other ‘ity’. My safe place used to be the confines of my own head, an unwavering confidence in my ability to think things out, and an unshakable belief in my own thoughts and decisions. This is an intensely personal tenet; central to everything I do, deeply ingrained in every aspect of my life. If you were to say that it is as important to me as my living breath, you wouldn't be guilty of any exaggeration. If such an integral and private space is suddenly invaded, when your own thoughts seem alien to you and you can no longer bank upon your judgments, it feels like your whole world has been shattered and in its place is now an endless maze ending in empty rooms with no windows and no way out. Memories elude your grasp just as you almost reach them, interest crumbles away midway through everything, and you sink deeper and deeper into this endless pit of melancholy despair. The entire stack of blocks that you built on this foundation comes crashing down as you watch helplessly, hoping that it will end someday, when you can pick up all the broken pieces and rebuild yourself, but you don’t know if and when this will happen. The night sweats, fever, chills and irritability don’t help either; and things look even more bleak when you can find no enthusiasm for the resurrection, no inspiration for the recovery and things look more lost beyond redemption the closer you look at them.
Layers upon layers, all the way down the abyss
Whirling beyond the depths that any mind can hold;
Like the ever elusive borders of Infinity, ah bliss,
The key to all the secrets of life untold.
Each is a myth conjured to give false comfort
A white lie shielding you from the bleak truth,
Ever so gently, it is weaved into the illusion,
It faintly ripples, sending out waves of discord
But these quickly fade and the fabric turns smooth
The mask slips in place again, the dream goes on.
Opinions are always born out of discord,
For order to exist there needs to be chaos.
Every mask in all its flexibility is still rigid
Within what is fixed, there still exists,
Some degree of freedom, for underneath
Is another mask, more room for retreat.
The eye thinks it sees all,
It is blind, for to see at all,
It always needs a limitation
There is more to scope than mere definition.
Without some prejudice, there can be no opinion
Under all theories rests an axiom at the foundation.
The masks are stripped away, to reveal the absolute.
What’s it that I see?
Tabula rasa, in my brief moments of sanity.
